Blog
The Simplified blog
Enter your rewrite for the plain-language competition
Frances Gordon | 07 June 2007 | 15:21Good afternoon to everyone, and especially to the delegates of the Consumer Credit and Protection conference, held in Sandton on Tuesday and Wednesday.
Candice and I enjoyed giving our plain-language workshop, and we hope that you now feel better equipped to implement plain language in your organisations. Always remember the most basic principle - write for your readers. And don't forget to enjoy lots of full stops!
We have had a handful of entries to our Simplified competition, which I'll start posting below. You can either email yours to me direct, or post it by clicking 'add a comment' below.
Enjoy,
Frances
This is the text that needs to be rewritten for our competition:
Charges:
Finance charges are calculated on a daily balance and compounded monthly on the due date of the instalment.
In the case of non-payment or late payment, additional finance charges shall be charged.
The Borrower shall furnish a debit order in respect of any amount payable hereunder.
Legal:
The Borrower shall be liable for all collections incurred in enforcing payment of any amount owing hereunder, including, inter alia, legal costs.
Pre-agreement:
The Borrower is entitled to delay signature of this contract by five (5) business days, to consider the proposed loan agreement. If the Borrower elects to enter into the agreement with the Lender, the agreement should be concluded at or below the interest rate and costs initially quoted. The Borrower has the right to enter into the loan agreement at any stage prior to the lapse of the five (5) day period.
Charges:
Finance charges are calculated on a daily balance and compounded monthly on the due date of the instalment.
In the case of non-payment or late payment, additional finance charges shall be charged.
The Borrower shall furnish a debit order in respect of any amount payable hereunder.
Legal:
The Borrower shall be liable for all collections incurred in enforcing payment of any amount owing hereunder, including, inter alia, legal costs.
Pre-agreement:
The Borrower is entitled to delay signature of this contract by five (5) business days, to consider the proposed loan agreement. If the Borrower elects to enter into the agreement with the Lender, the agreement should be concluded at or below the interest rate and costs initially quoted. The Borrower has the right to enter into the loan agreement at any stage prior to the lapse of the five (5) day period.
An entry entered by email
Kim (anon) | 07 June 2007 | 15:28Charges:
Interest is calculated daily and compounded monthly on the due date.
If you do not pay, or pay late, you will be charged extra interest.
You will pay the following by debit order.
Legal:
You will be responsible for all collection costs.
Pre-agreement:
You may take up to five days to sign this contract. If you sign the agreement then you are agreeing to the interest rate and costs initially quoted.
Interest is calculated daily and compounded monthly on the due date.
If you do not pay, or pay late, you will be charged extra interest.
You will pay the following by debit order.
Legal:
You will be responsible for all collection costs.
Pre-agreement:
You may take up to five days to sign this contract. If you sign the agreement then you are agreeing to the interest rate and costs initially quoted.
Another entry by email
Charles | 07 June 2007 | 15:36Charges for the credit
Finance charges are worked out each day on the daily balance. They are compounded monthly on the due date of the instalment.
If you do not pay or if you pay late, additional finance charges will be charged.
A debit order must be done for any amount payable for this contract.
Costs for legal
You are liable for all collections incurred for payment of any amount owing for legal costs
Pre-agreement of 5 days
You are entitled to postpone signature of this contract by 5 days, to consider the proposed loan agreement. If you elect to enter into the agreement with the Lender, the interest rate and costs initially quoted will not go up. You are also entitled to enter into the loan agreement prior to the lapse of the 5 day period.
Finance charges are worked out each day on the daily balance. They are compounded monthly on the due date of the instalment.
If you do not pay or if you pay late, additional finance charges will be charged.
A debit order must be done for any amount payable for this contract.
Costs for legal
You are liable for all collections incurred for payment of any amount owing for legal costs
Pre-agreement of 5 days
You are entitled to postpone signature of this contract by 5 days, to consider the proposed loan agreement. If you elect to enter into the agreement with the Lender, the interest rate and costs initially quoted will not go up. You are also entitled to enter into the loan agreement prior to the lapse of the 5 day period.
The next entry... by Vanessa
Emailed entry number 3 | 07 June 2007 | 15:43Financial charges the borrower must pay:
Finance charges are worked out on a daily balance and compounded monthly on the date that the payment is due.
Additional finance charges will be charged if there is no payment or a late payment.
A debit order is needed for payments for this contract.
Legal information:
You are liable for legal costs.
Pre-agreement of this contract:
You do not have to sign this contract for five days after the initial quotation. The costs and the interest rate will not increase during the five days. However, if you wait more than five days, they may increase.
Finance charges are worked out on a daily balance and compounded monthly on the date that the payment is due.
Additional finance charges will be charged if there is no payment or a late payment.
A debit order is needed for payments for this contract.
Legal information:
You are liable for legal costs.
Pre-agreement of this contract:
You do not have to sign this contract for five days after the initial quotation. The costs and the interest rate will not increase during the five days. However, if you wait more than five days, they may increase.
Competition
Sally | 07 June 2007 | 19:28Finance charges are calculated every day
We calculate finance charges on your daily balance which is compounded monthly on the instalment date.
If you do not pay or you are late paying, we will charge extra finance charges.
You must sign a debit order which allows us to take amounts owing from your account every month.
You must pay for all collections
You are responsible for all collection costs we incur in enforcing payment of any amount you owe, including legal costs.
Pre-agreement:
You may delay signature of this contract by five (5) business days, to consider the proposed loan agreement. If you choose to sign the agreement at the end of that time, we will offer the loan for the same or less interest rate and costs initially quoted. You have the right to enter into the loan agreement at any time before the end of the five (5) business days.
We calculate finance charges on your daily balance which is compounded monthly on the instalment date.
If you do not pay or you are late paying, we will charge extra finance charges.
You must sign a debit order which allows us to take amounts owing from your account every month.
You must pay for all collections
You are responsible for all collection costs we incur in enforcing payment of any amount you owe, including legal costs.
Pre-agreement:
You may delay signature of this contract by five (5) business days, to consider the proposed loan agreement. If you choose to sign the agreement at the end of that time, we will offer the loan for the same or less interest rate and costs initially quoted. You have the right to enter into the loan agreement at any time before the end of the five (5) business days.
I hope this is right...
Aadil | 08 June 2007 | 12:50Monthly charges and additional fees
Your monthly charges are calculated based on your daily balance. If you don not pay, or pat late, you will be charged extra.
All payments need to be paid by debit order.
Payment of legal and collection costs
You will have to pay all collection fees and legal costs.
Signing of the contract
You have 5 days to sign the contract, but can sign it at anytime before the 5 days are up. When you do sign the contract you will pay the amount quoted at the beginning of your 5 day signing period, at or below the interest rate.
Your monthly charges are calculated based on your daily balance. If you don not pay, or pat late, you will be charged extra.
All payments need to be paid by debit order.
Payment of legal and collection costs
You will have to pay all collection fees and legal costs.
Signing of the contract
You have 5 days to sign the contract, but can sign it at anytime before the 5 days are up. When you do sign the contract you will pay the amount quoted at the beginning of your 5 day signing period, at or below the interest rate.
And our suggested plain-language rewrite is...
Frances | 19 June 2007 | 00:29You have five days to make up your mind
You have five working days to decide if you want to enter into this loan agreement with us. Until the five days are up, we will not increase the interest rate or costs given in this agreement.
You must pay by debit order
If you do decide to enter into this agreement, you must pay all amounts by debit order.
You must pay charges each month
We calculate charges daily and add them each month on the date the payment is due.
If you pay late
You must pay extra charges if we do not receive your payment on time. You are responsible for all costs, including legal costs, of collecting any late payments.
Well done to everyone who entered... the winner will be contacted tomorrow.
Frances
You have five working days to decide if you want to enter into this loan agreement with us. Until the five days are up, we will not increase the interest rate or costs given in this agreement.
You must pay by debit order
If you do decide to enter into this agreement, you must pay all amounts by debit order.
You must pay charges each month
We calculate charges daily and add them each month on the date the payment is due.
If you pay late
You must pay extra charges if we do not receive your payment on time. You are responsible for all costs, including legal costs, of collecting any late payments.
Well done to everyone who entered... the winner will be contacted tomorrow.
Frances
lbnoehkt fzimo
wxlip feasrkoi | 28 July 2007 | 14:23hijlvxy egzranhiy jpunolm osrmnyga gbkevdifj jnvcgwbf oikr
Love!
Licsnasyacill | 15 January 2008 | 01:11Make peace, not war!
sunglasses shop
Wholesale sunglasses | 02 June 2010 | 20:35Great article Thank
you so much!
you so much!
cheap mbt
mbt shoes | 09 July 2010 | 23:51great information you write it very clean. I am very lucky to get this tips from you.
wholesale shoes
Wholesale shoes | 30 July 2010 | 10:41Thanks for this useful article.
finance software
make money easy | 11 August 2010 | 15:23Nice content. Thank you for your information.
All content © Simplified 2006/7 | Legal
The original text
Frances | 07 June 2007 | 15:26